4/20/10

Mastering The Cold Approach

So you're walking through the mall when you see one of the hottest chicks ever. You glance at her. She notices and makes eye contact with you. You deflect your gaze to try and pretend you're not looking. And that's that. You continue on with your day because you can't just randomly go up to a woman in a public place and talk to her without looking creepy, right? For most guys that's true, but for those who are able to master the Cold Approach it's totally doable.

For years I relied on familiar social situations in order to pick up women. I felt comfortable being introduced to new female friends at a party or get together and I found a lot of great girls in those situations. But, I would see girls  at the club, bar or coffee shop that I wanted to talk to. I kept wondering what I was missing out on by only relying on common contacts. I wanted to be able to go up to any woman I found attractive, in any situation, and get her phone number without being maced in the face or tasered to death. I had to get rid of my social restrictions.

There are a variety of situations where Cold Approach needs to be tailored such as in the club, on the street or at a bar. The specifics of each situation warrant their own technique, but that's too much to go into right here, but there are a list of generic techniques that need to implemented in any Cold Approach and that's what we're going to explore.

Don't Over think it

We all have an inner dialogue that we adhere to. It's important to remain fairly impulsive and spontaneous when entering into a cold approach. Don't become too scripted. When you're approaching a woman use the environment to initiate the conversation. For example, if you're in a coffee shop and you heard the girl ordering her coffee you may want to remark on the drink she just ordered. Did she order her coffee black? Tell her that was a very straight forward choice. Perhaps you respect a woman that can drink her coffee straight black. Or maybe you always have to ordered flavored coffees and you don't know how she can drink it that way. These are good ways to start off a conversation. Talk about something common and intriguing regarding the environment you're in.

You're Testing Her, Not Vice Versa

A lot of guys will try to show off on the cold approach. Leave that thought process at home. First of all, the only thing you currently know is that the woman is attractive, but you don't know what kind of woman she is. You may not like her personality. Instead of trying to jump through fire hoops to make yourself look good, make her tell you whether or not she's worth it.

There are always a certain number of questions I like to ask a woman on a cold approach. What does she do for a living? What kind of books does she like to read? What is her taste in music and movies? If she doesn't have a passion for something and her taste in music, movies and books is superficial I don't want to have anything to do with her.

Women Want Confidence

Women want to be conquered. They want a man to break down their stringent barriers. They want to feel like a vulnerable little girl. In order to pull this off you have to be brutally honest. You saw her and you wanted to talk to her. Don't make excuses. If she starts to put you off, simple tell her that you think she's attractive and that you don't want to go through the rest of the day wondering what would have happened if you had talked to her. You'd rather be rejected than miss out on an opportunity to speak to such an attractive woman. Tell her you'd like to just find out a little bit about her. It's as simple as that. Never waver, never loose your confidence.

Stand up Straight

The way you feel about yourself manifests in your posture, gestures, walk and talk. Incidentally, purposely changing these attributes such as standing up straight with your shoulders back will also change your thought process. Again, women want strength and confidence. You don't want to look like a cute wounded puppy that they can take pity on, you want to be a strong man. So, stand up straight and make clear eye contact.

Make Eye Contact, But Don't Ogle

One of the best relationships I have ever had started from eye contact. A friend of mine showed me a picture of a girl that lived one of his college dorms while I was visiting from out of state. I was immediately attracted to her. While we were walking somewhere he pointed her out. I immediately locked eyes with her. When she noticed I kept that eye contact, I did not look away. I looked straight in her eyes as we walked past. Years later she told me that that's what turned her on about me -- the fact that I didn't look away.

This is a common occurrence. We see a woman and look at her as she is preoccupied with something, but when she looks our way, we immediately divert our gaze. Stop it. Know what you want. If she sees you looking at her then don't pretend you're not. You don't want to be weird about it, though. Don't look at her body, look at her eyes. The best thing to do in this situation is smile and be a little humorous. When this happens to me sometimes I will cross my eyes and smile. We both have noticed that we locked eyes and that's a tad bit awkward, so break the ice with something funny. This is a great way to start a conversation

There are many tried and proven techniques in mastering the Cold Approach in various environments, but the most important rule to take way is to NEVER be apologetic. You saw an attractive woman and you decided to go up and talk to her. What is wrong with that? You may screw it up, you may say the wrong thing. Don't apologize. You saw something you wanted and you decided to find out more. Keep your confidence and do not waver.

The only way to master these things is to simply go out and apply them. Think of it as an experiment. Tell yourself that tonight you're going to go to the club and cold approach at least three women. Being successful in the seduction game takes practice like anything else. The more you weed out what not to do the more successful you'll become.

 

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William Mac is a delightfully eccentric pub crawler residing in America's beloved gold-capped southern jewel sitting on dubs more commonly referred to as Savannah, Georgia. When he's not picking up bikini-clad babes on the beach, William enjoys writing, watching horribly directed B Horror movies and reading sophisticated smelling old leather-bound books.

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