So you want to buy your lady a sex toy.  Where do you start?  Well, unless she’s already a member of the bedroom toy club, you need to start with a conversation that will determine whether or not she’d welcome such a gift.

If she does already have a toy or two, take a look at them.  Consider upgrading her favorite.  Or get her something different based on what you know she likes.  How do you know what she likes?  Look at the toys she has- What do they have in common? For example, are they all insertable?  Are they all the same material?  Look for clues about what she likes and find something that has those features.

If she doesn’t already have any, starting the conversation may be the hardest part.   Try bringing it up casually- like it’s not a big deal.  Here are a few openers you might try:

I was reading an article the other day that said sex toy sales have spiked due to the popularity of 50 Shades of Gray.  Have you read those books?  Was there anything there you wanted to try?

When she asks you how your day was, say something like “It was good.  I got a chance to catch up with [insert friend's name here].  He was telling me that his wife/girlfriend/one-night-stand brought a vibrator into the bedroom recently and that he couldn't believe how much he liked it.  Would you be open to trying one?"

If she doesn’t already own a toy, you may want to stress how healthy and normal sex toys are.  Recent research suggests that about 50% of people have used them before (the percentage for people in their 20s and 30s are even higher!) 

Once you’ve got the green light to go shopping, there are a few more decisions you’ll need to make:

Is this for her alone time, or are you looking for a toy that you can use during sex?

What does she like?
What’s the budget?

If you’re looking for a toy to use together, check out this post.

One incredibly popular toy she may enjoy by herself is the rabbit, which was made famous by an episode of Sex and the City.  These are so popular because they stimulate multiple pleasure spots at the same time to product an Earth-shaking orgasm.  One part stimulates the clitoris while another is inserted to provide internal pleasure.  Depending on the manufacturer and quality, these can vary in price from about $40-$110.

Another classic is the bullet.  Named for its size and shape, the bullet can be used alone or with a partner.  Since it’s small and easy to pack, it’s perfect for vacations.  It’s also a great first toy for women who might be turned off by something that looks like a big fake penis.  It’s the perfect toy to let her explore her body.  And if she doesn’t like it- no big deal!  Bullets tend to be inexpensive, although you can get her a really nice one if she ends up loving it.  Make sure to get one with a few different vibration speeds and/or patterns.  They start around $15 and go up to about $140.

If you like the idea of a bullet but want deep internal vibrations, check out a basic long and slender vibe.  Dr. Laura Berman, a sex and relationship expert offers several good ones in her line of Intimate Basic products.  Check out the Sienna or Jasmine models on our website.  These are also fairly versatile, and make a great first toy.

The important thing to take away is that you don’t need to be afraid of talking to your girlfriend/wife/significant other about introducing sex toys to the bedroom.  Go forth, and good luck!