3/30/10

How to Pick Up a Chick at a Bar

By William Mac

Picking up a chick at a bar can be an incredibly daunting task to undertake, especially when the chick has all of her girlfriends cramping your game, but your other enemy is immediately being identified as a drunken creep when first approaching. Of course, I'm sure you're not a drunken creep, but women wouldn't have these automatic safety protocols if they weren't trying to weed out the losers from the winners and you're a winner right? Of course you are! Now that's one hell of a pep talk if I do type so myself.

The primary brick wall you're trying to break through in most pick up situations is trust, but at a bar it's especially hard because alcohol is flowing like the Mississippi and girls are teamed up in tight-knit groups to protect each other from creepy beer guzzlers. So this "how to pick up a chick" blog is going to primarily center on how to break through that wall and be the funny, interesting, confident and trust worthy guy to not only the girl you're trying to talk to, but all of her friends as well. As a prerequisite, make sure that you're in the right mind set before you enter a bar. Be in a good mood, be confident and be secure in yourself. This will help your Game.

Make Eye Contact

This is your first step. Make sure you lock eyes with the girl you want to talk to. Seeing her and approaching without first initiating eye contact and across-the-room flirting will make you look even more like a creep. She's got to prepare for it. So, when you see her don't stare or ogle or look creepy, make eye contact and smile (actually more of a cocky smirk). Perhaps hold up your drink in a "toast" fashion to add a little bit of humor.

After that, don't wait long to approach, now that she knows you're interested in her she'll brace herself for you to approach. She'll probably turn around and giggle with her friends and let them know that the guy across the room just smiled at her. Don't let the anticipation level go down. Use it to your advantage.

Getting Through The Cock Block

After making eye contact and beginning your approach, remember to continue to keep eye contact and smile warmly. Approach with your shoulders back and held up high. You don't want to look sheepish or like you're asking her permission to approach -- you're doing it because you see something you want and you're going to get it.

Since your first goal is to get in with her group of friends, don't just speak to her, speak to her entire group. Be light hearted, witty and just a little bit cocky. Unlike other situations where I express the importance of being standoffish, in this particular situation you want to tone that down. People are at a bar to have fun and mingle with their friends, so you need to be in that same mentality. A good opening line would be, "It looks like you ladies are having some fun, I just had to come over and join in."

After that, introduce yourself and ask everyone's names. At this point you want to sink into a conversation about what they've been up to that night and what their plans are. This cultivates trust within the group and gets rid of whatever "creep vibes" may initially be in place. However, make sure you pay special attention to the girl you're wanting to really talk to. Concentrate on bringing the bulk of the conversation back to her.

Isolate Her From The Group

After you've demonstrated your value to the overall group, it's time to get the girl you want to come to you. There are a couple of ways that you could go about accomplishing this, but this is my favorite. Tell the group, "do you guys want to come meet my friends? I'll buy you all a drink." Once they agree to that, you'll be spreading the group thin. You can introduce the group of girls to your friends, which will cause them to enter into individual conversations. At that point you want to take your "target" and enter into a consolidated conversation with her while her friends are occupied.

Initially you want to remark on how cool she and her friends are, but quickly move the conversation into a personal space. Ask her what she does for a living, what she likes to do to relax and other general getting to know you questions.

Leave The Bar With Her, Not Her Friends

One of the things you have to avoid after introducing her group to your group is the temptation for everyone to move onto another bar. Don't let it happen. At this point it's time to ditch your friends, not in a bad way (they'll understand, trust me). Ask the girl you are now having an isolated conversation with if she'd like to go get a bite to eat. Don't take her to another bar, you want to get her in a spot that's quiet where you can eat some drunk munchie food, sober up a bit and get to know her to further show your worth and value and make yourself more attractive in her eyes.

Ask her, "look, I think you're really interesting... do you want to just head out and grab a bite to eat somewhere that's not as loud so I can learn more about you?" With this, you are demonstrating that she is worth something to you and that you want to focus on her. If she tries to say she needs to stay with her friends just point out that they seem to be getting along fine with your friends and that it would be hard to get to know her with all of them around.

So, make eye contact, approach confidently, establish trust and value with her group of friends and isolate the girl -- a tried and true method to pick up women in any crowded watering hole near you. What you do after you have her to yourself at the Waffle House down the road is up to you. You can decide to get her number and call her later or you can decide you want to take her home. Neither one of those options is half bad.

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William Mac is a delightfully eccentric pub crawler residing in America's beloved gold-capped southern jewel sitting on dubs more commonly referred to as Savannah, Georgia. When he's not picking up bikini-clad babes on the beach, William enjoys writing, watching horribly directed B Horror movies and reading sophisticated smelling old leather-bound books.

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