4/06/10

How to Pick Up a Chick on Facebook

You're on it all the time you freaky, geeky social media maverick -- you're posting hilarious tweets that simultaneously post on your super friend-filled Facebook wall and über insightful blog and you've got more Foursquare badges than little Timmy down in Mobile, Alabama and he's a friggin' Eagle Scout -- why not get laid? A lot of people still have qualms about this. Sure, websites like Eharmony and Match.com have taken off, but those are for people that don't have all of your savvy social networking skills.

The idea that you can actually pull a girl off a social networking website shouldn't be frowned upon.

Social media networks are like big house parties, you were invited by a friend and even though you may not know everyone in the room, the common ground is that everyone is a friend of friend and that makes it easier to talk to girls. It's the same thing with Facebook. So, how do you get that cute chick that commented on your buddy's status update, and you currently don't know, off the glowing box and into your arms (or bed)? Allow me to guide you through the vast informational landscape that is Internets flirtin'.

Step 1) Add The Chick

I've hooked up with a lot of girls through Facebook and the process is pretty cut and dried for getting started. Whenever I see an attractive girl comment on a friend's status update that I don't know I check out our mutual friends. If she knows a few friends that I communicate with on a regular basis then I already know we've got common ground. The main goal is getting access to her profile when she adds me. I want to make absolutely sure that the profile picture isn't misleading. I want to look at her pictures and if she has videos of herself, then that's definitely a plus.

Step 2) Evaluate Her Profile

It's important to find a little bit out about this girl. Look over her pictures -- where does she party?  Does she have a lot of pictures at the club or bar? Or does she have a lot of outdoors pictures or shots of her painting a picture or networking at business events? Also, read over her quotes, favorite books, television shows, current and recent jobs, where she went to school -- everything. Check out a few days of status updates and see what she's been doing. Get an idea of how she spends her time, what she does for a living, where she likes to go and the thinks that interest her. And, by the way, don't be put off by "In a Relationship". I can't tell you how many of these girls aren't actually in relationships, many of them will do this to put off guys. Even if they are in relationships, you can make it work.

I was chatting with a FB connection that had her profile set to "In a Relationship". When we started talking on the phone she began complaining about her boyfriend and I just talked down her boyfriend and told her she can do better. Two days later she was "single" so don't let that stall you.

Step 3) Check Yourself Before you Wreck Yourself

Imagine you're going out on a first date or you're approaching a woman you've had your eye on for a while. What do you do? You spruce up, you make sure you portray yourself in the best light. So, after you've checked out her profile you need to do some tweaking. Check your pictures and remove any that make you look bad or that have you sucking down a beer bong. Pay special attention to your profile picture, pick the one that makes you look the best and most interesting. If there are any old status updates that are incredibly negative, bashing or filled with cuss words remove them from your wall. Change your profile information to work around hers if you so wish (if she's that hot).

 

Step 4) Start Commenting on Stuff

After she accepts your friend request and you've thoroughly built up an impression of her by picking apart her profile and you're still on board, it's time to start subtly nudging your way into her consciousness. Now, the rules with commenting on status updates and photos is the same for picking up any girl offline -- don't over do it and be cocky / funny.

A lot of guys will comment on a girl's photo with, "you're so beautiful" and all that same old bull. Don't do it. Find a picture of her at a party, for example, and comment with something like "lol how trashed were you? Jeez." or "That looks fun, where was that?" Perhaps find a photo of her and one of your mutual friends and comment with, "How come I've never met you before?" Those comments require a response and it doesn't make you seem like you're hitting on her or are desperate.

As far as status updates are concerned, the same rule applies. Respond with humor and wit. Those two things make you intriguing. The goal is to get her commenting on your photos and status updates, that way you get a good back and forth going and you know she's interested. Remember -- always play the mutual friend card. Talking about why you two don't know each other with so many mutual friends is a great way to get to a meeting in real life.

Step 5) Facebook Chat

After a few days of comments back and forth, it's time to take the next step -- FB chat. The next time you see her online, start chatting with her. Try to bring up a recent status update and build the conversation on that. Of course, all the same conversational rules apply, ask her about herself and be interested in what she's saying and don't forget to build of the mutual friends you have that connection is stronger than a lot of people think and can really get you in the door.

Step 6) Get That Phone Number

It's all about getting the phone number and you'll be surprised how easy it is once you've been chatting on a while over Facebook. More often than not the girl will actually provide you with her phone number unprovoked. After a while girls want to hear your voice. They think you're interesting, they like the way you look and now they want to hear the way you sound to put the big picture together. They also want to see if you're man enough to actually call and not just hide behind your computer screen.

However, there have been a few times where I've had to ask for the number. In that case, you want to do it the right way. There has to be a reason you're asking for the number. The best way to do this is tell her that one of your mutual friends is having a party and you wanted to see if she is going to show up. This is a great opportunity to get her number because you "don't have all of the information yet" but you want to be able to contact her so you can give her the details.

I would say that it is actually much easier to pick up a chick off Facebook than it is in almost any other situation. The ability to build trust over communication and mutual connections before having to talk your way off a cold approach and into a favorable situation garners a much higher success rate.

Stop complaining about how you don't have a girlfriend or how you never get laid -- you've got a permanent 24/7 house party going on in cyberspace. Utilize it.

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William Mac is a delightfully eccentric pub crawler residing in America's beloved gold-capped southern jewel sitting on dubs more commonly referred to as Savannah, Georgia. When he's not picking up bikini-clad babes on the beach, William enjoys writing, watching horribly directed B Horror movies and reading sophisticated smelling old leather-bound books.

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