5/27/10

It's a timeless exercise to bet your friends in return for free drinks on just about anything at all. The problem is that most of those bets are just really dumb. No one wants to see you crush a beer can with your skull or swallow a bottle cap or snort a line of pepper without sneezing. First of all, if you are making bets like that you definitely don't need another drink. Secondly, that is a surefire way to be shunned by women the rest of your life.

However, there are ways to be a savvy hustler, get free drinks and be the life of the bar as well. The key is proposition bets. A proposition bet is a hustle that only has one outcome. The hustler (that's you) knows the outcome and the other party suspects there is only one outcome. You present a problem or a proposition and before offering the solution to the problem or proposition, you make the other party promise you a drink for showing them. Not only does this make you a fun person to be around, you also get free drinks and become more attractive to women.

Let's get started, shall we?

1) The Match Trick

The best thing about proposition bets and hustles at a bar is that, even though people have to buy you a drink, it's all in good fun. Most of the time these types of techniques are incredibly easy, but they seem impossible at first. The match trick is a perfect example of this. The person buying the drink is basically caught on a technicality.

PROPOSITION: Using a matchbook (not wooden matches) bet someone at the bar that you can take a match, throw it up in the air and it will land on its side no matter what. Tell them that, if the match doesn't land on the side, you will buy them whatever kind of drink they want. But, if the match does land on its side, they have to buy you whatever kind of drink you want. Seal the deal by shaking on it.

HUSTLE: Bend the matchstick in half, throw it up, it will land on its side every single time. You get a free drink.

2) Telepathic Straw

This is one of my favorites. It doesn't work for long, but at first everybody will think you have super powers.

PROPOSITION: The proposition is simple. You are going to move a straw with your mind in a circular or clockwise motion. You will place the straw on the designated surface and without touching the straw, you will move it. If you are able to accomplish this amazing feat, the party being demonstrated to has to buy you a drink of your choice. If you are not able to move the straw with your mind, then you have to buy the next round.

HUSTLE: This is all about static electricity. Take a straw off the table, the kind that are wrapped in paper. Pinch off the top of the paper. Then, pinching the straw, forcefully slide off the rest of the paper. This charges the straw with static electricity and causes it to be flat.

Take a salt shaker or another similar surface with a metallic lid. Place the statically charged straw on the top. Now, put on a show. Act like you're psyching yourself up. Place one or two hands at either end of the straw without touching it. Then, as if it is taking you a lot of effort, move your hands and the straw should follow. You could even simply take one finger and point at the straw at one end and move it circularly. The straw should follow.

The reason this works is because the straw is charged with static electricity and it follows the energy already present within your body.

3) Copy Cat

This one is even simpler than the match trick.

PROPOSITION: The person or persons sitting across from you at a table has to mimic every move you make. If they are not able to do that then they have to buy you a drink. However, you tell them that it is only three moves they have to mimic you on. You will not stand up. You will only use your hands and the drinking glass that you and they already have. The only other thing you will need is enough quarters for everybody participating in the hustle.

HUSTLE: In three moves you are going to get a free drink. First, instruct the person or persons across from you to put one of their fingers on the quarter. You will then have them mimic your three movies.

Move #1: Lift your drink up and take a sip while moving the quarter forward with your other hand. Act like you swallow the sip, but don't. If you swallow the sip, you've ruined the hustle.

Move #2: Place the glass back on the table while simultaneously moving the quarter back with the other hand. Do NOT swallow the sip in your mouth.

Move #3: Pick your glass back up while moving the quarter forward once again with your other hand. Instead of taking a sip, spit back in the cup what you had sipped during move #1. The overwhelming chance is that the other person or persons had swallowed that sip and were therefore unable to mimic you on the third move. You get a free drink!

4) Magic Hat Shot

Everybody loves hat tricks, like in all those old Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton routines. Here is a way to do an easy, savvy hat trick and get a free drink at the same time.

PROPOSITION: You will be able to put your hat over a full shot glass and, without touching the hat that is covering the full shot glass, take the shot. If you succeed, the other party has to buy you a drink. If you do not, you have to buy the next round.

HUSTLE: Make sure that your hat is not mesh and that no one can see through it. Now, cover the full shot glass with the hat. Use a straw and instruct the other party that you are not going to use the straw to flip the hat over. Then, inch the straw under the hat and act like you are drinking something. Even look like you are straining because it's a tough shot. After a few seconds take the straw out of view (you don't want people to see that it isn't wet).

Sit back victoriously and instruct the party to buy your drink. Do this without removing the hat. Invariably the other party will ask you to prove you took the shot. Tell them to take the hat off and see. After they take the hat off, snatch the full shot glass and take the shot.

You didn't touch the hat and you were still able to take the shot. You win the bet and they have to buy you a drink.

Make sure to practice all of these techniques before using them at the bar or you may be the one buying the drinks!

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William Mac is a delightfully eccentric pub crawler residing in America's beloved gold-capped southern jewel sitting on dubs more commonly referred to as Savannah, Georgia. When he's not picking up bikini-clad babes on the beach, William enjoys writing, watching horribly directed B Horror movies and reading sophisticated smelling old leather-bound books.

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